Choosing the Desired Wife
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, the Merciful, the Hearer of supplications, and peace and blessings upon our beloved and humble prophet Muhammad,and upon his family
When marriage is spoken of during these "Modern" times, Muslims become horrified, conjuring
images of an arranged marriage, trying to find that "perfect" companion, how much of a financial
burden it will become, and so on.
The reality is that Islam came to solve these problems, not exacerbate them, yet unfortunately we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for a man rather than a delightful experience.
When living in a free, perverted and corrupt Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many
temptations and tests, as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome.
He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, on the media, and at work.And so the wisdom of the Prophet (s.a.w) echoes on, when he said:
"O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting(evil glances), and preserves one from immorality..." When seriously considering marriage,
you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is.
As Muslims, we believe that Allah wants the best for us, and that His Prophet (s.a.w) illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advise of our own Creator,and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful. WHOM TO MARRY Islam isclear on the kind of wife you should be seeking.
The Prophet (s.a.w) said: "A woman may be married for 4 reasons:
1.for her property, 2.her status, 3.her beauty, and 4.her religion; so try to get one who is religious,
may you be blessed." This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we are seeking,for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage is bound to fall into misery. True, beauty and charm is hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religiousness.Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of
marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway.
In another hadith, the Prophet (s.a.w) said:
"The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman."
Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many
times by Rasulallah (s.a.w), who himself, when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned
a pious woman. Once the following ayah was revealed:
"They who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in the way of Allah, unto them give tidings of
a painful doom. On that day when it will (all)be heated in the fire of Jahannam, and their foreheads andflanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said to them): 'Here is what you hoarded for yourselves,now taste of what you used to hoard' "[al-Taubah: 34-35].
Umar (r.a.a) has been quoted tosay that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached
the Prophet (s.a.w), submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. Rasulallah (s.a.w) replied that the best thing to be treasured is the devoted wife who causes pleasure when seen,obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husbands property when he is away.
Abu Bakr once asked Rasulallah (s.a.w) what was the best thing to be treasured, and he (s.a.w) replied: "the tongue in remembrance of Allah, the heart filled with thanks to Allah, and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds". Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allah!How can a man live unhappily with such a person.